I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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