Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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