dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
