The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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