I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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