so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
