Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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