i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
