i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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