laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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