Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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