What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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