in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
