I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
