i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
