OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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