I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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