Cold hands, warm shart.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
