I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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