His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
