is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
