TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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