I cockslap morals
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
