Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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