Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's always time for handjobs
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
