Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
