we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
