After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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