they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
