Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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