I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
