i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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