I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
