If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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