It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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