i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
