Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
