You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
