You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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