Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize