i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
