we have officially lost it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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