scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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