i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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