My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
