Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
