mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
sex in a hospital.. check
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
