i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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