dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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