Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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