Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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