It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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