# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
