what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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