aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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