He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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