I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
