I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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