Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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