i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
