ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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