is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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