I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
