hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
