we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize