My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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