i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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