Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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